How do I tell my husband our debt is worse than he thinks?

[LunaFlwrz]

I've been feeling so overwhelmed, sinking deeper into debt each day, losing sleep over it, and honestly, just feeling so much self-hate. But today, I took a step—I spent the whole day putting pen to paper, pouring my fears and hopes onto those pages.

I carefully calculated exactly how much we have coming in each month, and faced every single big debt, along with their interest rates. I tracked every penny we’ve spent over the last month, sorting them into categories that laid bare our reality: the essentials we must pay—heat, lights, water, insurance—car expenses, groceries, convenience store stops and gas, miscellaneous spending like Target or Walgreens, and the money we spend eating out, mostly for my daughter and my husband.

My heart is heavy as I ask for your courage—please give me the strength to explain all this to my husband. He always gets so upset, saying that with what he makes, we should easily pay our bills and still have plenty left over. It breaks my heart every time, and I just don’t know how to make him see.

 

[StormChaser22]

Hey, let’s be real this is all about setting us up for a future where we don’t have to grind so hard. And you know what? It’s a team effort all the way.

 

[Dymezy]

Ugh, we’re totally in the same boat on this! I get it, sometimes you just wanna handle it all yourself instead of getting your partner involved it feels easier, right? But seriously, you’ve gotta lay it out in front of him. Why should you have to juggle this whole thing solo? Meanwhile, if they’re clueless or jjust don’t wanna know, it’s like, sure, go ahead and spend freely without a worry in the world must be nice!

 

[NeuroHaven]

Show him what you just wrote out and where you are at.

 

[SparkMiracle]

You know, I've found myself doing the same thing these last few days, and honestly, I'm feeling a little nervous about bringing it up with my partner too.

 

[DarkStarTech]

You are not alone… same boat!

 

[DigitalRequiem]

You've gotta lay it all out there for him every single debt, who's dropping cash at Target, and hey, even the convenience store runs. If that's you, own it! You could totally cut some of that out, no sweat. That way, he can see you're putting in the effort and doing your part!

 

[Zarthon]

Use visuals. I don't understand numbers. I need to see the $20k for the down payment. Show me the mortgage quote.

My wife made a mock paycheck from our money. She paid what we could. That left a certain amount. Now I can relax. Just bring home that amount. We're good.

 

[MoneyCavalry]

Hey, how about painting the house a lovely green, you pick a nice blue, he can go with a classic black, and the little one can have a fun red.
Wouldn't it be great to see it all come together?