How can I budget and pay off debt with low self-discipline?

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CosmicChaosRize

New Member
So, my husband and I make around $7k a month. He works at a mine and has been there full-time for over 15 years. I'm a full-time dispatcher with 2.5 years on the job and also a full-time nursing student. We have three girls aged 10, 6, and 4, and let's just say they're super spoiled.

Here's the thing: we're really struggling. We've been married for seven years but have been living way beyond our means the whole time. We don't have any savings—every time we manage to save a bit, it gets used up. We've got a mortgage and two car payments, and more often than not, they're late because we have to decide whiich one to pay on each payday.

Every payday, we're shelling out about $2,500 in automatic loan payments. That's for things like payday loans, furniture financing, and car repairs. And that's not even counting our utilities. My husband smokes a pack a day and makes two trips daily to the convenience store for cigarettes or drinks like Monster and soda.

I'm exhausted because, just a few days after payday, we're broke again. I've got 1.5 years left in nursing school, and my goal is to have everything paid off by then so we can build a house. My main issue is that I don't have any extra money to make extra payments, and honestly, I lack the self-discipline for this.

I want to try the snowball method, but I'm worried we won't be able to keep up with our car and mortgage payments. I was thinking of opening a new bank account, cutting back on some of those automatic loan payments, and using that money to pay off one debt at a time. But I'm stressed about my credit score, which is already in the mid-500s.
 
No advice here but I’m right there with you. I created a budget sheet for clarity. When I saw $300 a month in Apple subscriptions, I nearly fell off my couch. Once I identified where I was losing money, I got focused on cutting spending. It’s only been a month for me.
 
Lack of self discipline today will cost you tomorrow. If your goal is to pay off debt to build a house, it's time to make tough choices and set clear boundaries. Every purchase should be evaluated against your goal. Keep your goal visible everywhere. Start small to avoid feeling overwhelmed. I'm a financial coach, and I'm here to help with any questions.
 
Self discipline can be tough, especially with finances and more! Daily money check ins keep me on track, and it's totally worth it! I create goal sheets and remind myself progress is happening! We've cut spending where we can, but we still set aside 'fun money' and budget for restaurants and alcohol to enjoy life. Starting a budget is a must! It's been a game changer for me. Good luck, you've got this! Progress is coming, stay strong!
 
Create a budget. Review the last 3 months of bank and credit card statements to track every expense. Payday loans are costly and need to be addressed. To escape them, consider closing the account they’re drawing from and negotiating a settlement. This makes managing other bills easier.

Buying a case of pop or energy drinks from the store is cheaper than adily gas station purchases. Keep them on hand to save money.

If your debt is overwhelming, bankruptcy might be an option. Chapter 7 or 13 can provide a fresh start, but discipline is key to avoid repeating the cycle. You can keep your house and car if you reaffirm them. Credit rebuilding can start after discharge, and you can get a new mortgage 2 years later. Only consider this if debt is unmanageable.

Regardless of the path, start with a budget. Identify where your money is going and check for forgotten subscriptions. Small savings add up. Sacrifice unnecessary expenses, like extra streaming services, to free up money for debt repayment.
 
If you can get a line of credit from your home equity, take your weekly spending money from it. We did it, and we were shocked by the dumb things we did with our money. Only our bookkeeper opened our eyes.
 
You said you have no discipline let’s flip that! It’s time to shake things up and shift your mindset so that your desire to get your finances in order becomes stronger than any old habits holding you back. But here’s the thing change is possible, and it starts with you!
 
If I’m being honest, using the credit card for emergencies on a Sunday feels like a last resort, but sometimes it’s necessary. I’ve learned to pay it back as soon as I get paid it’s the only way to keep things balanced. If I set aside $200 for groceries, I try my best to stick to that amount. There’s something about using cash that makes me more mindful of my spending.
 
You must consult a financial advisor and an insolvency trustee immediately. I strongly advise consolidating all your debts to stop wasting money on high interest rates and unnecessary fees like NSF charges. Cut all your credit cards right away this will ensure you only spend what you earn. This is the best path forward.
 
I don’t have specific advice to offer, but I want you to know that I understand your struggle. I relate to it deeply. A lack of discipline is something I’ve grappled with as well. Over time, I’ve made some progress no longer turning to shopping therapy, for instance but now I find myself struggling with eating out. Life’s stresses and a dislike for cooking have made this a persistent challenge.

What has helped me are two key things: 1. Therapy, which addressed the underlying issues like depression and anxiety that drove my earlier spending habits, and 2. Reaching a financial breaking point maxing out my credit cards and damaging my credit left me no choice but to curb my spending. ,

I’m tired of the generic advice often given about financial planning. It’s almost as if people assume it’s something you either naturally excel at or don’t. What I wish existed is a service similar to what some high profile individuals have a structured system where someone else sets limits on my spending, effectively acting like a financial guardian.

That said, I’ve recently taken steps toward debt relief, which has been a necessary, albeit difficult, decision.
 
Spending $20 a day or more at a gas station is where I would begin.
Gas stations will make you go broke.
That's $7300 a year wasted if you spend $20 a day.

Get a part time job if possible.
STOP spoiling the kids.
Turn off all subscriptions.

Make some cuts and use that money to pay things back.
No more credit cards or loans.
 
In my.20's, I got stuck in the payday loan cycle. Eventually, I wanted out.

So, each payday loan I got, I kept decreasing the amount until I didn't need it anymore. It took awhile, and I had to do without things, but I kept my end goal in sight.

I agree with buying a case of drinks it's cheaper and doesn't add the stress of trying to get him to stop drinking them.

I'm a smoker, and I find it way cheaper to buy a carton of smokes instead of a pack at a time. Again, no need to add extra stress by trying to quit.

I hope that helps.
 
Payday loans won’t be paid off without a lump sum of cash. Check your state’s laws on wage garnishment and payday loan collection. Morally, it’s complex to take loans you can’t repay, but at this point, you’ve likely paid enough in interest. These loans often have 300% interest rates. If wage garnishment isn’t allowed, consider stopping payments. They’ll call and threaten, but many have no real power. Still, research your state’s laws and the loan’s origin.

For other debts, consider a HELOC through your mortgage. Approval may be tough with your credit score. Another option is a debt consolidation company. They close your cards, lower or eliminate interest, and you make one payment. This keeps you from using credit again. Keep your oldest.card outside the program to maintain credit history.

The company sets up a budget, determines affordable payments, and helps cut costs elsewhere. I recommend Take Charge America. They charge fees per card but less than what you’d pay in interest and late fees. Each card in the program will show as in a debt management program, which is better than late payments.
 
Alright, set yourself some goals. Begin with something small because, honestly, changing your mindset isn’t easy. But the more you work on it, the better you’ll get.
 
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